your thong is hanging out like whoa
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Everything about him screamed your future.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
