I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
