Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
