My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's blow job season.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
