so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
