i permit you to call me
Betty ford says i'm here all night
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
