found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
