Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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