Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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