She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
