just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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