I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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