My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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