Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
