i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize