You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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