That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
