I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
