Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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