Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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