whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
