if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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