can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
