Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
