okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
