it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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