When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
