it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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