I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
