So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
