nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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