I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
