Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
