I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize