Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
