I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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