dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He is an equal opportunity slut.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
