Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
