Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
