I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
