How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
