SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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