I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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