so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Send help, water and tortillas.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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