I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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