You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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