i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
