i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
