In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
