I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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