Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize