Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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