remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
