My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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