If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
