Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
