Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Randomize
