I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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