Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
