Do you still have your period?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
