The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
