I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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