I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
