He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
